31:25.

Here goes:

I am not one to tout my religious views or shake my Bible in your face. Chances are… that 9 out of 10 times I am probably shaking SomeThing in your face… While I sing and dance my way through the day, but that Joy is in me for a reason that I have believed strongly in since I was a young child.

I believe in God, the deity, the folklore, the carpenters Daddy, and the Santa Claus of the Universe all rolled into one. No matter if he is “real” or not.  Do I believe in the one who condemns, who works for financial gain… Or the one who decrees that if you don’t repost his picture on FaceBook in 90 seconds you won’t be allowed in the gates of Heaven??  Uh… No.  The one who puts a label on who can love whom, and who dictates that hate is the centralized emotion when it comes to organized religion? No. Freakin. Way. 

I believe that people of Faith should walk with humility, and withOUT judgement…setting an example of a life worth living.  So I don’t need to post all of my thoughts and feelings about the God I serve on FB.  If you enjoy my ranting…. You’ll let me know.  If you want to hang out with me…you’re invited.  If you want to attend church with me?  You’re probably out of luck… because I hardly ever get there with 4 kids, 2 houses, and all the hundreds of things that go along with our life.  But you know what? I think God is ok with who I am right now in this moment.   Faith isn’t something you chase…it is something you are. 

This morning I received a text from a friend of mine from the church I never get to…and she said to me… “Look up Proverbs 31:25… It is YOU in a nutshell.  You should tattoo this on yourself”.
I went ahead and looked it up and I have Never,

                 Never,

                              Never felt so complimented in my entire life.

“She is clothed in Strength and Dignity and she laughs without Fear of the Future” ~ Proverbs 31:25.

I. Love. This.
I love the sound of this, I love the image that comes to my head, I love that someone else thinks of me this way, and mostly I love that this is who I want my beautiful daughter to become as well! 

Strength? 
Yes! 
Physical and mental please!  I would say being the Mother of 3 boys provides you with Plenty of mental strength.  If they are all still walking (on their own) at the end of the day…you are a mental juggernaut.  Being a mother demands Extreme mental strength  For me.. Being a mother also Demands. Fairly good physical strength.  I need to feel healthy, strong , and confidant enough to teach these boys that women are not lovely flowers to be coddled and ignored.  We are more like colie plants, strong, and hearty with beautiful shades and variables.   I also need to be strong enough to beat them at a race, throw a great curve ball, or wrestle them to the ground in a moment’s notice.  Because…and I am not kidding….

MOMMY ALWAYS WINS!!! 😁:mrgreen::mrgreen:

And this is why…

I am stronger than the average bear…  because I have survived.  Lots.  My body was most definitely not my temple 10 years ago.  More like the toxic waste dump for the local distillery.  I drank.. Sooo much.  I ate too much, or not at all. I gambled with my body and soul on a nearly everyday basis. I created (not by myself) and grew (by MYself)  FOUR humans… Which is alot on the anyone’s body.  In the end, I’m not sure that I would change any of it…and most definitely not the coolest, most awesome, amazing four humans!  I am strong now because I was weak then. If there are breaths of vitality in your average human… I am a Force 12 in the Beaufort Scale.  There is very little that intimidates or scares me, and I love an adventure!  I have the dignity of knowing that the weakness that once lived inside of me has grown into an outpouring of strength for others.

I AM able to “laugh without Fear of the Future”.  No matter what happens I have a backup. It is NOT just my faith.  It is my Family, friends, and the person who backs me up on a daily, sometimes hourly occurrence… Rob.  And if all of that falls through…I have another person I can always lean on. 

Myself. 

I hope that all women can relate to this ancient proverb.  Not because it is in the Good Book, and I want you to be on my Bible team, but because women everywhere deserve to feel this way about themselves.  They should feel their own strength, and hopefully have a partner who sees it in them as well.  They deserve for their children to tell them they are beautiful, and for them to want to make this woman laugh, and feel loved.  It is not a religious thing, it is a quality of Life issue.

I am so ThankFul that this person sent this to me today.  And I am honestly thinking of getting a tattoo of it.  I’ve been looking for an excuse anyway ;). 

Do you know what Faith is??  Real faith.  When something inspires you like this has done, and you are dying to get it out on paper… And then you miraculously realize that there are NEW episodes of Chuggington on Netflix so you can do just that.  God is in the details…even the self indulgent ones 💒. 

Blessings and Hugs,
The MommyLogues.

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CessPooL.

Yesterday was a CessPooL of Suck.  Just all around the WoRsT day ever.  It involved a lot of whining, crying, discipline, and zero self control.  And that was just ME!  If there was ever a day in history that could make me drink again… It was yesterday.  But I did not, (of course) so the World is safe from the re-entry of the Drunken Satan herself 😉

I don’t want to go into too many gory details… But the day just was a CrapFest.  I think when you love and care about as many people as I do… Even if 10% of them have a horrible day, you can easily be sucked in too.  It was so bad that my beautiful daughter offered up her hard earned Wendy’s cash to buy pizza for the family… I’m pretty sure she was trying to make me not crack up like an egg. 

I was just exhausted by the end of it.  So tired I could barely shove some charity pizza pie in my mouth. And it really made me sit down, and think about what having a bad day means in this house, in this time.

A bad day yesterday for me consisted of cranky kids, a husband with too much on his plate, and a child who didn’t finish a Spanish project.  (Boo Jackson, Boo!).  He is, by the way, still on the proverbial hook for that!

A bad day when I was the Angel of Evil was filled with screaming.  People crying, and pleading for things to change.  Lies, mistrust, and dangers for everyone around each corner.  If it was a good “Bad Day” I would just pass out… Leaving my family to fend for themselves, but at least they were no longer dealing with my ridiculous self.

Our World was so uncertain, and bleak that our family unit never had the chance to take a rest.  It couldn’t have a break… BeCause it was so BroKen.  There was no real security that there would be a family the next day in the same house… Or even that all of its members would be alive. 

Yesterday when I went out to get Will off the bus, he knew immediately that something was wrong.  He was so concerned about why I looked sad!  He actually stuck by me all evening… Giving me extra hugs and WillLove, even after I was my silly old self again.  Oddly enough… That makes me very happy.  Moreover, it makes me confident that the Me of today… Is a far, FAR cry from the Me of the past. 

Molly is old enough to remember that evil Mommy 😈.  Jake barely thinks of it, but a small memory of it still lingers😧.  Evan, and Will have zero thought process when it comes to conjuring up a Momma who wasn’t smiling and dancing, 98% of the time💗😛💗.  A mother who not only didn’t cook breakfast, but drank her breakfast to boot.  My older children know that they will never have to deal with that again, and they know that my Love for them, and for Daddy is what brought me through that type of pain.

When Jake called me from School yesterday to tell me was busted by the Spanish teacher for not having his project done, He was not at all worried that he was going to come home to an intoxicated mess.  He knew he was in a World of Trouble…and that he may never play a video game Again EVER… But there was no concern for his own safety or mine.  And that to me, is the Ultimate Victory. 

My family is my World.  Both extended, and the ones that live in my teeny tiny little Cape Cod.  We are Happy.  Happy does not, and will never mean Perfect.  Bad days happen, people lose their tempers, and kids try to test their limits.  Having my family know that they are Safe in this World, with me… is the greatest Joy I have ever known. 

I am, however, having a MUCH better day today.  Jake got his project done (in a whopping 30 minutes of effort…Errrrrghghhh) and at the end of the HoRRiBle day, we all snuggled up eating pizza, and watching Disney’s Mulan… because as Molly said “kick butt girls are where it’s at”.  And at the end of the movie, my kids said that I remind them of Mulan.  Because I fight for what’s right, for my family and friends,  and I don’t have any fear when it comes to it.  Let me just say…Bad Day Over :). 

From now on when I have a bad day I’m pulling my hair up, confiding in my Magic Dragon (we will hypothetically call him “Rob”), and putting my big girl Samurai pants on.  It is remembering how far we’ve all come that keeps us from ever going back, right? It is that thought that keeps me writing and telling the tales… The Good, the Bad, and the Sucky CessPooL ones. 

Peace, Love, and Conflict Resolution Tactics from our Family to Yours,

The MommyLogues ❤

He’s not “special needs”…

Last night Rob shared a photo on FB… And I’m sure everyone has seen it before, but it always makes a point.

Rob had all the best intentions when sharing this, and I dare say… He posted it out of pride for his son.  Mommy, however, had a very hard time with it :(.

I think it was the label of “special needs”. Of that black phrase used in conjunction with my Sunshiny, Happy, LoVing boy.  The realization that Rob is maybe prepared for a possibility that I am not.  I still work hard to keep up the idea that Evan will someday just catch up with all his peers, and that he will prove everyone wrong about his “abilities”.

Evan’s birth and the year following were traumatic, to say the least.  He wasn’t going to survive a week, then a month…. Then a year.  He has done EveryThing “they” said he wouldn’t.  Walking, talking, playing…  He is basically just a normal little boy.  But, he’s not.

He is still behind… Developmentally.  He is more on a 3 year old scale… Instead of a 4 turning 5 year old scale. He is still slightly uncoordinated, but being MY son, he’s probably just stuck with his
klutzy nature ;).  Will he grow up and lead a normal life?  Probably.  Will he grow up, and lead a totally run of the mill existence?  Less of a chance, I think.  He may always have to work harder, think more, and accept challenges head on to get thru adulthood. 

But when I really sit back and think about it, as his Mother… Do I want any of my children to have it easy?  I certainly don’t want any of them to face the same life endangering trials I went through… But I also think a certain amount of challenge is good for a soul.  It breeds character, and makes you appreciate what you really have.  It would be easy for Evan to be like everyone else… But the chance that he would be the same happy boy who wakes up to cheers and hugs, from a houseful of people… Is unlikely. 

My son, who is a fighter… Lights up a room every single place he goes. People fall in love with him instantly.  Is it because he’s different?  Yes.  He doesn’t have any of the walls, or borders most children at his age do.  He loves unconditionally…and without bias.  If you are black, red, purple… He wants a hug.  If you are Jewish, Muslim, or even Catholic (😂)… He will be your buddy.  He seems to know his place in the World even before he’s really been in it.  He loves and laughs.  That is what he does.  Does it mean he doesn’t misbehave? No.  He gets grumpy…of course.  And someday somebody will hurt him, or make fun of him… But Evan will forgive them.  (Will Kinch may kick their a**… But Evan will give grace). He may be a easy target for a bully… But more likely… He will show that bully a compassion that they didn’t receive at home that made them want to be mean in the first place.  He may change people, showing them that sometimes weakness is a true strength. 

I have had many struggles in my life.  Most of them should have killed me.  To be a mother to a little person who has the same fight in them that I do… Is so humbling.  Evan is a lot like his Momma.  We don’t care what we have.  Or how much of it.  Being alive, and with the people we love is the only thing that we are concerned with.  And that bonds us, to each other, to his Daddy… And to his siblings who adore their brother like he is a preschooler at Harvard.  Or even better… Like he is who he is, Evan Michael Kinch. 

He doesn’t have any special needs.  He doesn’t ask For anything any more than any other child his age.  He IS my special need.  My sunshine, my heart, my youngest babe.  I am sure I don’t feel any different than any other parents who has a child who had a health issue or survived some difficulty.  Or a parent who’s baby has met every milestone before or right on time.

I have been and always will be his biggest fan.  I will go to bat for him and fight for anything he needs, but I would absolutely do the same for all of my other children too.  They will all always have me as back up.  And they know it…from the oldest who has a genius IQ… To the youngest, the boy who knows he will have to be more street smart than book smart :).

This is not the face of a child who is worried about his future.  Seriously.. Look at that back up ;).  This is the face of a little man who knows he is safe, loved and has all the support he needs.  He’s not special needs..  He is just Amazingly special.  He will take on his Life in the future that same way he has in the past… With a smile, a jump, and plenty of LauGhter 💗💗💗.  And if he has a problem… He Will always have the people he has given his love to… to come and give some back 🙂

Will says…

Last night Will decided he was going to learn how to wash dishes.  Awesome.  While washing the silverware I said to him, “Make sure those are nice and clean… Daddy gets very concerned about dirty forks”.

A couple minutes later, I hear him talking to himself…

“Make sure they’re clean, clean,clean… Daddy gets constipated over clean silver ware”.

🙉🙈🙊

Heart.

Will is home sick with the flu today and so he is camped out on the couch in between bathroom visits.

He’s just laying there…all is quiet and he says,”I just don’t care about my hair Mom.  It always sticks out like Wolverines.  My head is shaped like his… But my heart isn’t.  He’s angry.  All the time.  I’m almost never angry.”

I told him that seems like a true statement.

Then he said he felt bad because Wolverine probably didn’t have a Mommy as great as me to make him HaPPy.

Ok… I guess I’ll keep cleaning up the little rugrat’s vomit… He just earned my heart.  Again.

Heart.

Will is home sick with the flu today and so he is camped out on the couch in between bathroom visits.

He’s just laying there…all is quiet and he says,”I just don’t care about my hair Mom.  It always sticks out like Wolverines.  My head is shaped like his… But my heart isn’t.  He’s angry.  All the time.  I’m almost never angry.”

I told him that seems like a true statement.

Then he said he felt bad because Wolverine probably didn’t have a Mommy as great as me to make him HaPPy.

Ok… I guess I’ll keep cleaning up the little rugrat’s vomit… He just earned my heart.  Again.

LiTTle MoMMy Lost…

I have been mentally writing this blog for… oh, maybe SIX years.  Yes, six I believe.  About the time I became a stay at home Mom, and had my first “groundhog day” type of week, I’ve been mapping this entry out in my head.  I’m sure as many mommies know… when you become a Mom, much less one who rarely leaves her house… many, MaNy things change about you.  You become entranced with your daily routine, of babies, cleaning, cooking, nurturing, cleaning, cooking…changing poo.  You get the idea.  And once you have that routine, you are in THE Zone.  You get super irritated if there are alterations, like for example if the mail person is late, and they say… beep at you.  You “might” freak out and scream that the BaBieS are SLEEEEEEPING…don’t BEEEEP!!!!  Not that saying this has ever happened to me, just an example of what could happen…

Truly though,  your hygiene is the first to go.  Sadly, showering seems to be an option instead of a need.  Why bother getting cleaned up when the same baby who threw up on you 2 hours ago during his feeding is going to do it again in precisely 60 minutes?  No point to that at all.  The thought of taking a long, luxurious bath? You can’t really even focus on the idea of it without yawning and practically giving in to your narcolepsy.  And at the time, being a dirty, greasy long leg haired hippie doesn’t seem so bad.  You are a MoTHer, a giver of life, a nurturing goddess.  They are supposed to be a little grimey, right?

Other things soon start to fade away unnoticed.  Your sense of personal style gets swapped for yoga pants, comfortable shoes, and t shirts that have 3 stains or less.  You stop actually eating meals, and soon find yourself existing on cheerios and possibly even a piece of chicken off the floor, if it’s been there for less than a day.  Friends, connections, social existence?  Duh.  That’s what FB is for.  They can’t SEE you.  At least not until it’s on your terms, you know…on Shower Day when you finally get the energy to take a half assed selfie and pretend that’s how chipper you look every day.

You are literally engrossed in your child’s world.  And I emphasize the GROSS in engrossed.  You live in a funnel, an everyday cycle of putting your needs last, and your family’s needs first.  You spend your time thinking about bodily functions, emotional supports, and how to make them eat the next organic, veggie loaded concoction you come up with.  Your title is Mom, and you spend every waking hour living up to it.

And it is WonDerFul.  Absolutely enchanting.  I don’t regret a single boogie, not one sleepless night, or any amount of time I spent cleaning up Matchbox cars in the early hours of dawn after nearly losing a toe on one of them.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat just to have those moments of being their one and only again.  These past almost seven years of being at home with my children and all the other babes who have come into our “family” have been the best, most fulfilling era so far.

Sadly though my little teeny babies, are not tiny anymore :(.  They are growing up, becoming actual PeoPle and starting to fulfill their own destinies by going to school, playing instruments, getting and maintaining relationships outside of our Family.  I don’t like it.  Nor do I have to.  But it IS happening.  And so, I have decided that Mommy needs to reach outside a little bit too.  I have to expand myself, and my goals so my Family can reach our dreams together.  Rob and I started doing this by buying our house in Wendell a few years ago, but now it was up to me to take the next step.

 

We have always both wanted to work for ourselves, and I became truly entranced with the real estate market when we were in the process of buying our house.  But, again…when you are covered in kid goop, the idea of interacting with grown adults who don’t think Boogie Wipes are a necessity…well, it’s a far distant thought.  So, last month I decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns and get my sh** in line.  And I started classes at Keller Williams for….dun dun dun Duuuuun….Real ESTATE.

 

And I have to say…my inner Tabby is starting to come back.  I used to see my old confident self standing at the end of a Very, very long hallway waving at me to come back.  She was dressed in nice clothes, her hair was done, and she carried a purse!  Not a diaper bag.  She’s closer now, starting to open her arms just a little….kind of like the beginning of a really good hug when you start to gear up for the impact.  At least SIX times I have gotten “fancy” as Will says, gone to class… spent time with only Adults in a learning forum.  Absolutely fantastic.  I feel so refreshed and accomplished just for that one act!  Being able to clear some of the cobwebbies out of my MomBrain is such a good feeling.  All the synapses are not reconnecting yet… but I have faith that with a little more adult therapy, they will.  It makes me feel like I am actually doing something for myself, while still working towards the prize my family wants for their future.

 

All around I feel more confident, intelligent, and like the girl (now a semi old woman) who used to think she could literally take the world by the ass, and twirl it around on a string.  Without all the struggles, addictions, and stupidities of being young and spontaneously dipshitted.  I can’t wait to learn more, do more, see more, find more and experience more of LIFE, all with my family of six…yeah… I said SIX by my side.  So HA , who wins now????  Huh huh???

 

It seems there are really seasons to life, and you can’t get stuck in them.  Enjoy them while you’re in them, each and every moment.  But when the next comes, be ready.  Dance in the rain, make a snow angel, and make sure to stick your toes in the sand.  I have adored raising my kiddos, and I’m far, far from done.  However, it is ok for me to start looking at being a woman again, a wife, with a career, and personal goals.  I’m sure I may still have to pick a few boogs here and there, and I will ALWAYS be available for them…but accepting that we are all growing is getting easier.

 

As I type this… Evan is sitting on my lap in a pile of stink.  BeCAUSE he has pooped his pants.  Irony in its purest form, right ??  Ugh, it’s not even lost on me as I struggle to finish this through the stench.  Duty (Ha Ha, get it ??) calls folks, more to come soon <3.

 

Hugs and Stinkers,

The Mommylogues

InGeNuiTy…

Let’s just face it… if you are going to take on the task of being a Mother, you need to be creative.  If you are going to take on the task of being a mother to four, being a co-mother to a bunch of other littles in your neighborhood, and all on a VeRy limited budget… because you maybe decided to buy a house in another state while living in a Different state 420 miles away… you need to be a flippin Houdini in the kitchen and in other areas!

 

Not that I am giving myself too much credit, trust me when I say there are days that my kids eat mac n’ cheese.  Or cereal for dinner.  My real rule in feeding so many is trying to keep it “real”.  To me that means as unprocessed as possible, so generally speaking their mac n’ cheese, and cereal has already been scanned, and fits my crazy criteria.  But, again… I’m on a tangent.  Back to living on a whisper and a prayer in the kitchen!  It is so hard to keep yourself organized, and hopefully when my kids look back on this particular blog entry they will realize why Mommy was always, ALways making so many lists ;).

 

My first thought is go to an auction.  Or try to find someone who does!  If you have a fresh, local produce stand… talk to the owner, and offer them some travel cash and a standard above market price for the things they get you.  It really is a win/win deal for both of you.  They know their going to sell the food, make a little money towards gas… plus they will actually get it cheaper when they buy in larger quantities.  And, you get good local produce in bulk when it is in season!  You can freeze it, dry it, can it, or use it however you like.  In my case, it is my stepmother who is the auction going.  She loves it, and she helps me SO much!  Everytime I think of her, this pops into my head: Sesame Street Dogs.  For example, two weeks ago, I received a half bushel each of cucumbers, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, plus 4 cantaloupes and 2 pineapples.  My cost= $13.00.  Which equals….Awesome.  We will eat pickles through Winter, and I have lost 3 lbs because I only want the fruit and veggies :).

 

Second… find a grocery outlet store near your house!  There are at least 2 chains out there… Sharp Shopper, and Amelias.  Use them!  There are lots of deals there that you would never find at your local Giant or Wegmans, and I personally promise you… your grocery bill will be cut in half!  Sharp Shopper is a grocery outlet, which means they take items directly from the warehouse to their store that have not been selling as well, or that are close to the printed expiration date.  But do NOT let that deter you.  They actually have the product dating information on their website, but I’ll give you a “tablink”… Like how I did that, ha ha… tablink (ok, sorry, never mind!) here: Product Dating Information.  Every time I leave this store, I feel like I just pulled one over on “The Man”, the faceless corporations out there who try to hornswaggle me into paying ridiculous prices for their products.  Plus (huge bonus), they have a ton of organic products, cheap produce, and awesome deli selections.  Always a positive if you have babes in your house that eat like hogs 🙂

 

Even at your local big name grocery store, there is generally a section where you can buy discounted items.  Breads from the bakery that are a day old (Yay! Stale bread is a great thing to work with), a place where you can buy discounted produce, and they always offer the infamous BOGO, right?  Sit down on Sunday, look through their circular and buy what is ON SALE!  Then type it into good Ole Pinterest combined with whatever awesome produce you have from your previously mentioned deal with your local dealer, and there you will have a list of 10,000 recipes.  Pick one.  Buy the odds, and ends you need and then stick TO it.  Plan out your meals in advance so there is no last minute pizza calls, or grocery trips when you’re hungry, because then you are in REAL trouble, right?  Going to the grocery store hungry is just a ready made Moneysuck.  I plan out all my meals, breakfatst, school lunches, home lunches, and dinners.  Everyone thinks I’m crazy… but that way the kids know what they’re are eating (so they can whine early if they need to and get it out of the way by dinner), I know what I need to prep, and there are generally no surprises.

 

Use your CROCKPOT!!  Please!  It is so easy to throw things in, let them meld, simmer and yum up… and then serve it.  If you have to leave your house for work during the day, I would test run it on a weekend where you are there to watch.  I have never have an incident with a crockpot and I literally cook with them 4 out of 5 days of the week.  During the summer it limits the amount of heat you have to expel to have a hearty meal, and during Winter… it fills your house with delicious, yummy smells all day!  Almost anything you can bake, you can put in a crockpot. This week we have had Coconut Curry Chicken, BBQ chicken quesadillas with corn and black beans, and Chicken Burritos for school lunch all from one batch of chicken I threw in my crockpot with some salt, and pepper on Monday. Desserts, breads, stews, casseroles can all go in with limited effort and time, so it really can be a busy moms BFF.  Just be careful of the obvious downfalls of having such an emotional relationship with an inanimate object… my husband thinks I would take my cookware over him, and that is just NOT true.  Well… mostly not true.

 

The only other thing I can say is don’t be afraid to try new things.  If you have kids in your house, just remember that you are the Parent, the Law, the Commander in Charge dammit… and they will not starve to death if they skip a meal.  Seriously.  I have a VeRy picky eater in my house, and he deals well with the concoctions I come up with.  Put it in scramble eggs, pancake, or pasta format and they are more likely to indulge.  There are always things that need “used up” in my house… today it was half a loaf of rye bread, and the same quantity of garlic bread, some loose sausage I cooked, and a dozen ears of corn.  I had on hand some bags of smoked gouda cheese ($1.19 at Amelias), and of course, eggs and milk because kids will actually die if you don’t keep those around… it’s in the handbook they give every parent when you have one.  You know… the one that gives all the other rules and regs like how to deal with the Teenage years and not to leave them in hot cars and such.  Yeah… that one.

 

I also have some ricotta cheese, ($.99, Amelia’s also).  I have some squash from last weeks produce run, and again, there is always pasta in any house with offspring.  My menu for the day is this:  Corn and sausage strata with smoked gouda cheese (which by the way, will be transformed into YummyEgg Happiness Casserole when I serve it).  For dinner we are going, we are to have stuffed shells with sausage and squash, which will be STUFFED SHELLS when I give it out at dinner because ya know what????  They don’t know the difference between hamburger and sausage, and they won’t even SEE that squash because there is sauce on top of it!  Eat up little babies, eat up!

 

It has taken me a looong time to get to the point where I can manage a large household, and have a good attitude about it.  But the thing is, you have to find a way to survive!  Necessity is the Mother of all ingenuity… said Someone Somewhere at Some Time.  Get your kids involved in the planning, and cooking of their own food.  They will love the time with you, and eat better because they had to put a little work into it.  Every family on a budget… Every single one.  Especially in the days now of super expensive gas, crazy health insurance premiums, and college tuition out of this world.  And if by chance, you actually make more money than you know what to do with…

 

Give it to me and Rob and we will order pizza.  Seriously.  And we might even share with the kids…

 

Someday your kids, and your family will understand the effort you took to make them wonderful, nutritious meals on a dime.  We call it champagne tastes on a beer budget.  And it is doubtful that your children will be any different, and if they are… there are much better uses for their money.  They will fuss and fidget a little, but stick to your guns and soldier on.  Be cheap, and Love it!

 

Hugs, and kisses from the Grocery Store…

the Mommylogues.

School DaYs.

 

Yesterday was the 1st day of School here at 4216… and it went so well!  Will started Kindergarten with Mrs. KZ, and Jake started 5th grade with Mrs. Petriowski.  Jake’s report of his day??  “It was good”.  Geesh kid, a little more info please??  But, I knew my Will would come home full of tales of his day, complete with the pacing he does so well when he’s telling us stories.

 

He didn’t disappoint.  I failed to pack him a spoon for his yogurt and granola, and he sure let me know!  “Moooom, if you want me to eat yogurt, I need a spoon… please!”.  Then he filled Jake and I in on all the dirty details, and we were a captive audience :).  He did cry… a little in the gymnasium because he “really did not feel like running”.  He ate most of his lunch, and he liked it… except he really did want that yogurt MOM!

 

His teacher is nice, and “No Mom…she is not my girlfriend!”, apparently I am a bit of a teaser ;).  He got a very important orange folder and it needs to go back to school everyday.  Mommy forgot it this morning, and agonized over it until I had a good friend run it up to the school for me, thank goodness.  He wasn’t allowed to use the pencil box we bought, because his teacher had given him a new one, and the same went for his Ninja Turtles folder, but he’s going to keep in anyway… because Donnetello is cool.  He wanted to wear his Superman shirt the next day, and have a Mohawk like Jake… because he would definitely NOT cry for any reason then.  I really had zero concerns about Will going to kindergarten and he really did amazing for his first day.  I nearly burst with pride. 

 

Please don’t get me wrong, I am still not a fan of this growing up thing… but I am resigned to the fact that I have no choice.  No matter how much I kick and scream, they are going to get older and do things without me.  It does give me a little more time to myself, even though there are still plenty of little people to pay attention to here.  Maybe I will actually catch up on my blogging?  Who knows.  But for now I have vowed to get the house as organized as possible, and just enjoy some time with Evan and try to help him progress.

 

Hugs, and Kisses…

the Mommylogues

I am gonna WhooP your A**…

It is early Sunday Morning…7:36 a.m. to be exact.  Some people may ask why in the WoRld I am up, writing on the PC at this time of day on a SUNDAY… but once again, it is all Rob’s fault ;).  Actually, he just needed to be at work early this morning and it’s no fun to sleep in without someone to snuggle with, so I got up so I could put into writing the random thoughts that have been going through my head on a particular topic.

 

Spanking.

 

There, I said it. The very taboo subject in today’s parenting world.  I guess the reason that it is bothering me is that someone posted this article on FB http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain.  The article talks about how children who are spanked on a regular basis (they say once monthly) can sometimes score lower on IQ tests.  A friend of mine put this article on a public social forum, and then seemed shocked by the responses from parents, and non-parents alike.

 

And my response was simple.  I have and do, on occasion, spank my children.

 

OOOOhhhhh man, Holy Cow, call the Authorities… I put it out there.  In today’s society it has become a very touchy subject, right?  Everybody has an opinion on how to raise their kids, their neighbor’s kids, MY kids. Somebody always has research to back it up, quotes from some noted Child Psychologist, and a Biblical passage to seal the deal.  What I really think of all of this is this:  Zip it.  It is not your business people!

 

In our HoMe, we use Every advantage to show our children how much we love and respect them.  We spend all our time with them, we snuggle, kiss, hug, and squeeze them constantly.  They probably hear I love you 10 times/day… and happily, I am not exaggerating. They know precisely how precious they are to us, and that we view the as MiRacLes.  It is a house filled with laughter, and family connection… until the crap hits the proverbial fan.  And then, it’s just not.

 

Families have rules.  Society has laws.  There are punishments in place in each area to keep everyone safe, and fulfilled.  If you break the rules in either… there are consequences.  In our home, our kids, all FOUR of them are given warnings… sometimes up to 3 before a punishment is actually given.  The older children get one.  However, if you are putting someone in danger, or being extremely disrespectful… chances are you are going to get a well placed hand on your cute little butt.  And it is not going to be fun for either person involved. 😦

 

That being said… there is a HUGE difference between a discipline lesson and abuse.  We have never spanked our children in outright anger.  We have never left a mark on them.  They have been spanked as a crew… maybe 10 times spread our between the four of them, and this is with the infamous WILL KINCH counted in that number.  Quite honestly, I am impressed with myself!  But, the absolute bottom line is that their Mother is a lover, not a fighter.  And you will respect me.  THE END.

 

People blow everything out of proportion these days.  Nothing in the whole world is a black and white issue.  Some people do not spank their kids, some people do.  Some attend church, some do.  There are people who will “abuse” each situation.  Physically dominating a child, and putting them in pain is wrong.  Using religion to back up your own agenda… WronG.  Many, Many babies grow up in fear of the people who are supposed to love and nurture them.  I was one of them.  My mother was, and is a person who uses words as a weapon, and often said things to me as a child that I should Never have heard.  I learned from that lesson as a Mother, and never… EVER say things to my kids in anger that will hurt them.  But a physical swat on their tucous, in my view, is not abuse when delivered in the right method.  You don’t spank a child and then not discuss the issue at hand, how will they learn from that?  The answer is that they won’t and your point is wasted.

 

I would encourage everyone to respect all others opinions.  People need to learn to moderate their behavior as children, and it is up to us a parents to set the standard.  I have never, and will never hurt my children ever.  I make sure they learn the things that I feel are missing in many, many interactions these days.  If we are in line at the grocery store, and there is someone who needs help… they are the first to step up.  They are respectful and kind little souls.  We often get complimented on their behavior anytime they are in a public forum.  I am pretty sure in the end, they will grow to be well-rounded, kind, and fulfilled adults.  🙂

 

A funny end to a serious topic… while I am sitting here, my 10 year old Jackson has been begging me to use the computer.  “How much more time Moooooooom???  Geesh, you’re already at 500 words, how much more????”.  And so I said, “You better stop or I’ll spank you”.  I am kidding, of course, because he is obviously reading what I am writing.  His retort??

 

“You can’t spank me Mom, I won’t be as smart”

 

Yeah.. this kid is fearful all right.  Maybe I need to spank him a little more, and lower this genius wit just a little???

 

Spankingly yours,

the Mommylogues

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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